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Learning that you have ADHD in adults can lead to pain, relief, and other emotions

Learning that you have ADHD in adults can lead to pain, relief, and other emotions

Noor Pannu couldn’t believe it. Her psychiatrist he had just been diagnosed ADHD. But he didn’t trust her. He read that people with disorder did things like get into a fight and have problems with the law, and that wasn’t the same thing at all.

“It took me a long time to accept,” he says. “It was a big mess, actually.”

Pannu is a 30-year-old man of high energy, full of ideas and enthusiasm. He directs the digital strategy of an e-commerce company in Winnipeg, Canada. He has had several promotions and good relationships with colleagues. Still, it is difficult to be productive, focused and managed anxiety about deadlines. After years of these symptoms and disturbing memory, he decided to seek help at the age of 29.

“I went to my doctor and I said, ‘I think I’m going crazy. There’s something wrong with me.’ He went to a psychiatrist, who diagnosed him ADHD.

“It took me almost 6 months to get started with the deal and start taking it medications“He says. They were afraid of the stigmas around them mental health problems and ADHD. “How people see it: ‘People with ADHD aren’t fertile. They’re not great at practicing. They don’t give well. They can’t be trusted.’ And they’re really bad things to say about other things.”

The disbelief and denial that Pannu felt, are some of the outrageous emotions you may feel after learning that you have ADHD as an adult. First, there are all the feelings involved in getting a diagnosis of a situation you have worked with all your life. You can feel it mine, relief or both. Then there is the fact that people with ADHD feel their emotions more intensely than other people.

“ADHD brain he experiences emotions in a big way, “says Dr. Amy Moore, cognitive psychologist at LearningRx CO in Colorado Springs and vice president of research at Gibson Research of Cognitive Research.” All emotions are getting bigger and bigger. The pain can be overwhelming. And that relief is almost gratifying. “

Coming to terms

An ADHD support team helped Pannu gradually support his diagnosis. He met people with similar symptoms, asked them questions, and recounted his experiences. “If it weren’t for them,” he says, “maybe I wouldn’t have started the medication and probably would have been confused even now.”

Once he started taking stimulant medications, he felt like he was starting to take full advantage of his power. He now plans to pursue a master’s degree in business. GMAT is studying for entrance exams for business school and wants to get high score.

Despite high hopes for the future, Pannu is disappointed that he had not previously learned that he had ADHD. She grew up in India, where she says she lacks awareness about the imbalance, along with the stigma surrounding women mental health, preventing him from being diagnosed earlier in life.

“I would have liked to have known about that diagnosis earlier. I would do better in academia and get a lot more, ”he says. “I feel like I could do so much in my life.”

Pain is one of the main emotions you may feel when you learn that you have ADHD lately Teenagers or that he is an adult, says psychologist Moore.

“You’re saddened to realize that your life could have been so much easier if you had just found out. You’re saddened to lose the life you might have had at the time. You’re saddened by the loss of the ideal maturity you imagined yourself,” he says.

Some feel anger along with sadness: “No one knew anger [your ADHD] before, or that no one had done anything before – and that you have suffered so long without explanation or help ”.

Pannu didn’t find the help he needed until he was almost 30 years old. But now that he has accepted the diagnosis, he understands himself better. He has a healthy sense of humor about who he is.

“I always thought I was weird. I didn’t know how weird it is, ”he says with a laugh. “But now I know.”

Calm down when learning the truth

When Melissa Carroll’s doctor diagnosed her with ADHD last year, Nashville’s 34-year-old credit analyst thanked her for hearing the news. After completing tasks, advancing in education, and fighting several times together relationships, he felt at ease with the diagnosis.

“I’ve been all over the place for a while, and not everyone can hold on to that,” Carroll says, describing what it might be like to have a conversation with others. He says his ideas make sense in his head, “but sometimes it’s hard to keep that conversation or try to make sense in a professional setting.” He says he also struggles with follow-up. “It’s hard in that direction long enough to get to the next phase.”

Treatment changed. He started taking stimulants, which improved ADHD symptoms. He also calmed down severe depression, which he believes is partly a few decades old untreated ADHD. He had a hard childhood without a very stable home life. Adults tended to rule out their symptoms because Carroll was just “acting out”.

“You adapt so much to life when you get used to turning your wheels, but at some point you get burned when you turn the wheels and you give up,” he says.

Medications and therapy Carroll helped get the traction. It all started Diagnosis of ADHD which gave him hope that he could make his life better.

You have a sense of comfort when you learn adult ADHD, says cognitive psychologist Moore. “That initial feeling of calm comes from having that explanation for your deficits in the end. The reason you struggle in school and relationships. Knowing why you have a real name when you struggle with time management and organization.”

After the diagnosis was made, Carroll took steps to better organize it. “If I need lists or an app to remember which rooms I need to clean or in what order I need to do it, then I’m fine with doing that,” he says.

He told everyone he knew that he had ADHD. Many were not surprised. “I was blown away. I didn’t realize it was so obvious to some people because it wasn’t for me, “he laughs.” It made me very excited, I knew this about myself and it makes sense. I think that’s the key to what I’m missing. “

Emotional “tug of war”

It can be linked to Moore Carroll’s enthusiasm. He felt the same way when he found out he had ADHD at 20 years old.

“I was so happy that I had the name of what was going on with me, I wanted everyone in the world to know,” he says. “I sang from the rooftops.”

Moore learned that he had ADHD in college in the late ’80s. “Until then, the only people diagnosed were hyperactive boys. So for a girl with a lot of ADHD, I was one of those people who fell through the cracks. ”

As a child, his parents gave him a structural home life. Once he went to college, however, he made an effort to stay organized and manage his time. But his mother, who specializes in child development, worked with children at a time when they were beginning to receive a diagnosis of ADHD. When he learned of his daughter’s signs, he asked Moore to ask about that doctor.

After Moore learned he had the disorder, he took stimulant medication and continued to navigate through college, graduate school, and a doctoral program.

“I didn’t feel as upset as I did,” he says. “It may have been because the diagnosis wasn’t very widespread in the 80s. Maybe if I went through the same situation two decades later, I would know that they could have done something and they hadn’t done it. “

Moore has seen that many people who are later diagnosed go through a “tug-of-war” between grief and relief.

Managing Great Emotions

Treatments such as medications and cognitive behavior therapy help many adults with ADHD take care of their lives and emotions. Moore says it’s also important to understand the root cause of these big emotions. ADHD affects thinking abilities called executive functions. These include organizational skills, working memory, attention, and the ability to control emotions. A treatment called cognitive training or brain training, can boost those abilities, Moore says.

“Cognitive training is about participating in intense mental tasks that directly guide these skills. Once you strengthen them, you will reap the benefits of emotional regulation, as well executive function skill as well. “

It can also help set boundaries in your life, he says. If you work in an office, for example, you can put a non-disturbing sign on your door or booth when you need to stay calm to focus. Or you can talk to your boss about your ADHD and ask them to take you to a place where you’re not so busy in the office so you can be as productive as possible.

Gathering other people with ADHD can also be a big quest. “Something amazing is happening in the support groups,” Moore says. “Not living in something alone has only a powerful therapeutic aspect.”

If you are recently diagnosed adult ADHD, think about talking about it with your family and friends. “If you educate your loved ones, and they are able to analyze your reactions and be able to say, ‘Hey, is this me because they have ADHD because they have ADHD?’ it might show a little more grace, ”Moore says.



Amy Moore, Ph.D., cognitive psychologist, LearningRx, Colorado Springs, CO; vice president of research, Gibson Institute for Cognitive Research.

Noor Pannu, leader in digital strategy, Winnipeg, Canada.

Melissa Carroll, credit analyst, Nashville.

American Journal of Psychiatry: “Emotional Deregulation and Attention Deficit / Hyperactivity Disorder”.

Understood: “What is the executive function?”

Children and adults with Attention Deficit / Hyperactivity Disorder (CHADD): “Executive Function Skills”.

© 2021 WebMD, LLC. All rights reserved.

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